Confidence

God’s Timing…NOT mine.

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“The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever.””
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭8‬

Well, our plans are on hold, OR God has other plans for us. At THIS time, God has spoken, but louder than other times (my bad for not listening close enough)!!


My knee suddenly began to have some pain & has gotten progressively worse. Having an MRI next week (another hurry up & wait on my plate) & looks like we may be headed toward a left knee replacement.


As a very-EX-jock, you learn to play through pain. I’ve been treating for hip(s) pain & pain in both shoulders. I love to throw weights around, love the gym, but wasn’t wisely lifting for my age & listening to my ouches. “No big deal,” I thought, continued with the gym & pickleball, until my right shoulder became excruciating!! I have some partial muscle tears & osteoarthritis (everywhere). BIG THANKS to Michael Keith Harris, former FC teammate & personal trainer (if you’re in Stockton, CA & want some knowledge & motivation, Michael is your man!!), who provided me some workout wisdom.


I took Michael’s suggestions, applied them & continued, lifting & playing pickleball after a bit of time off.


Then, playing one day, hit the ball with my paddle (not hard) & WHAP, a right forearm muscle hit me like the initial tug of hooking a marlin!! Wow it hurt. Sat out a couple of games, until my forearm chilled, & started playing again. It nailed me again late in the game, so I stopped. Didn’t play for a couple of weeks & then started up slowly, practicing & using my left hand/arm more (I love switching hands during the game, but I’m right dominant, so don’t always get the result I want.)


I became more confident & pain-free, so began to play more, but not as much as prior the injury. Played a couple of games hard & had pretty good results, until the same thing happened to my right bicep, WHAP!! Did the same thing, rested it for a couple of games, until it not only WHAPPED!! my bicep but my forearm also. I was bummed.


I rested the arm again & bought me a Flocky, a “biomechanical arm sleeve”, w/ “no strain evolution” protection!! That worked with easing into mild practice. Once I felt “secure,” I returned to competition & would you believe, the “WHAP!!” returned!! Of course it did!! I haven’t played for quite a while now & it makes me crazy!!


Then the knee got wonky, I’m seeing a back guy next week & might need the knife again, as well as whatever is going with my right shoulder/arm. The latter, as well as the back (& hips), we hoped to have treated once we moved & were settled on the Florida coast. But now that it’s so hard to walk, we are anchored on the Ohio River.


No matter the prayer, are we listening for the answer we want or the answer HE’s going to give? Will we hear HIS answer, or are we hearing our own. There’s a lot of noise that goes on in this knucklehead of mine, so I try to be a good listener. This time, I wasn’t good enough.


Timing is everything in life, but it should be HIS timing. Like hearing HIS desire in our lives, HIS time is best in our lives. HE promises to give us our hearts desires. But we have to remember that our desires have to align with HIS, or we settle for something far less. HE knew us before HE formed, so HE certainly knows what’s best for us. GOD has shown me MUCH mercy & grace in life & HE forgives me when I forget to hurry up & wait on HIM.


We continue in prayer for what’s next & listening more intently. Barbara, my wife, heard HIM before I did. LOL, should have listened to her more too!! Sorry, B!


We covet your prayers for quick (HIS quick) healing & direction (HIS direction) when I have healed, as we pray the same. (Please never worry about asking us to pray for anything for you, if not us, ask others you trust to pray—we want good, good things, via God’s will, in your life too!!)
Peace & joy to you!!

“But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭31‬

*Michael Harris can also be found for fitness, wisdom & encouragement on FB, Instagram & YouTube: 60 Fit Club Podcast!http://www.instagram.com/bigdarkness59

Triple Threat

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1 baseball crossWhen I was a freshman in high school, I tried out for the JV baseball team (I think it was JV–not sure that we had a freshman and sophomore team–I’m getting old–and the level of play isn’t the relevant part!) I was confident that I would make the team, as I had done pretty well in Little and Pony Leagues. I also thought that I had an ace in the hole. I played football!

“What’s football have to do with baseball?” Well, I thought that because I was good enough as a freshman to start on the sophomore football team, which got me noticed as a prospect for the varsity team, and the varsity football defensive coordinator, Larry MacDuff, was also the head JV baseball coach, then I had an “in!” Sort of an teen’s six degrees of separation theory at work and I had it in the bag, a shoe in, an ace in the hole!

I made the first and second tryouts (I had it in the bag) and then non-league play began, at which the balance of the cuts would be made (a shoe in) and then league play would begin (an ace in the hole). It wouldn’t be long before I was playing catcher for the JV baseball team. I had a dream of walking in the shoes of Gary Carter (varsity football quarterback, baseball catcher, and basketball guard–triple treat!). Carter was a senior my freshman year. He went on to be a Major League Baseball Hall-of-Famer! And I was on my way: After football season, I played on the freshman basketball team and now I was on the way to be a triple threat at Sunny Hills HS!

So we have a non-league game (AKA “practice game” back in the day), and I’m not starting at catcher. I wasn’t worried. Coach needs to make it look good, no favoritism, right? So I’m sitting on the bench with another team mate. After a couple of innings the other team is at bat and they start rallying. I mean they are knocking our pitchers off the mound left and right. But I’m cool. Coach will put me in once this other team wears itself out from running the bases so much and finally gets their third out. Once I get in, I’ll knock the ball around myself some and we’ll get back in this and make it a game!

At one point during this other team’s bat to ball crushing rally, something struck me funny. I don’t know what it was but I was giggling about something and suddenly burst out laughing when an umpteenth score just crossed the plate. Then the call from Coach MacDuff rang out: “WILBER!” (Ah, coach needs me in even sooner than expected! Is he out of pitchers? Does he want the current catcher to pitch? Does he have hunch about ME pitching us out of this miserable half-inning!?! I’m game!)

I sprang off the bench and sprinted to Coach MacDuff at the other end of the dugout, “Yes, coach!?!” “I know the score here, but I don’t know the Varsity score,” Coach MacDuff barked. The varsity team was playing on the opposite end of the campus field. “Go find out the score and come back and let me know.” I ran dutifully to the varsity diamond. Found out the score. Ran dutifully back to Coach MacDuff and relayed the score. My expectation to be thanked and put right in didn’t come. Nor did my hope of being a triple threat. The next day when I went to suit up for practice I read on the locker room bulletin board that I had been cut from the team. Coach MacDuff didn’t talk to me or let me plead for another chance. I wasn’t able to get back in his good grace until the following football season, my sophomore year.

“Hell week” for the varsity football team was just that. If you ate before morning work out and it wasn’t eaten early enough, you would eventually lose it at practice. Hell week is held in late-August/early-September. Life gets hot in North Orange County in the latter months of Summer, but that’s not the only reason that its referred to as “hell week.”

We were close to completing the morning “session” and we always ended that workout with “hills.” Off one side of our practice field was a TALL dirt hill (at its foot was the cow and pig pens and various other farm animals for our FFA classmates.) We had to run the hills like laps. Sprint up, sprint across the top 40 yards or so, sprint down, sprint across, sprint back up and so on. If number of hills didn’t get you, the combination of the hills, the heat and the smells from the farm animals was sure to make you sick.

After we ran the hills we were expected to line up in lines and rows, stand at attention and listen to how pathetically slow and out of shape we were, and other colorful thoughts and ways to express the disappointment coaches had in their prospective players. Guys would be quitting, crying, loosing their breakfast on all fours. The thing that Coach MacDuff liked about me, he later confessed, is that I threw up and stayed at attention (eyes forward, chest out, hands clasped behind my back, feet firmly planted.) Coach MacDuff would move on to coach at Fullerton College, then to Stanford U, and later the in the NFL with New York Giants and San Francisco 49ers. I love that guy a lot and will throw up for him while standing at attention anytime.

In Matthew 17:24-27, Jesus and His boys came to Capernaum for a little R & R. “…those who collect the temple tax came to Peter and said, ‘Does your Teacher not pay the temple tax?'” (25) He said, “Yes.” And when he had come into the house, Jesus anticipated him, saying. ” What do you think, Simon? From whom do kings of the earth take customs or taxes, from their sons or from strangers?” (26) Peter said to Him, “From strangers.” Jesus said to him, “Then the sons are free. (27) “Nevertheless, lest we offend them, go to the sea, cast in a hook, and take the fish that comes up first. And when you have opened its mouth, you will find a piece of money; take that and give it to them for Me and you.”

WOW. When I read Matthew 17:24-27 this morning I heard Coach MacDuff call for me in the sweetest of ways, “Big, Steve! What do you think the varsity score is? Why don’t you take a jog down and get that for us?”

I’ve learned and re-learned and re-learned lessons and continue to be told to go to the varsity field to check out the score! There are a lot of lessons via Jesus in verse’s 24-27, and I’ll probably have to continue re-learning until He say’s, “Let’s call it a game, Steve.”

Looking at one of the first clues that Peter stepped in it, we see in verse 25: “What do you think, SIMON?” Jesus didn’t refer to him at Peter and it went down hill from there. But at least He’s talking to Peter!

If I will stay obedient, keep my eyes, ears, heart and soul open, if I will seek and not assume, if I will practice faith and not obsession, if I will be my Father’s child, servant to my Lord and REMEMBER that Christ Jesus made me a free son of the Father–then I DO have an ace in the hole. Humble confidence in Christ will replace man-pleasing fear. I will love God and will not be kept busy learning a lesson but being the hands and feet that God planned for His child to be. HIS triple-threat!

Earlier in Matthew 17, Peter witnessed the transfiguration of Jesus, and saw Him talk with Moses and Elijah, and he heard God’s voice say, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!” After experiencing God in such a personal way, why would Peter later say “yes” to paying the temple tax–why would God now have to pay HIMSELF a temple tax?!? Was it Peter’s fear that caused him to loose sight when challenged?

Don’t be afraid, brothers and sisters! We have been saved by the Son of God. As Jesus told Peter, James and John after falling to their faces at the sights and sounds described in Matthew 17:1-6, “Arise, and do not be afraid.” But please don’t loose sight of the goal. We don’t loose sight when we stay in humble confidence. The triple-threat in Christ is to love God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind (Matthew 22:37). The latter keeps me in that sweet spot of humble confidence (when I don’t loose sight).

As I encourage myself, I pray for and encourage you. Stay focused and strong. Pains hurt more than usual. Loss is darker than we ever imagined. We just can’t loose that cough at the end of the lousy cold we caught. And there are so many other distractions that cause our coach to call us out and send us on a wild goose chase. But we don’t serve a coach that doesn’t say a word and simply places our name on a bulletin board so that all can see our failure. We serve a God that welcomes us back. Who is ready to run to us when we turn to say, “I’m lost. I need help.” Oh, its remembering the grace and the mercy, and His love for us that makes us want to love Him back. He has a good plan and I’m so thankful for the plan He has for my life and for yours! See you in that plan ASAP!

Peace and joy,
Steve

twitter/instagram: @stevedubu1